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Crisis groups, grieving families work to prevent teen suicide
Broad Run High School senior Tania English was a popular, outgoing girl, who had lots of friends and loved animals.
Those who knew her called her “Sunshine” because of her fun-loving personality.
She was not the type of girl anyone could imagine would commit suicide.
But last October, 17-year-old Tania, of Ashburn, did take her own life.
Her family, friends and classmates are still wondering why.
“That is the one thing I wish I could ask her,” said Tania's mother, Sinikka English. “She was a good girl. She came from a normal family.”
Teen suicide is on the rise across the nation, according to a report released last year by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, and the rate has especially increased for girls ages 10 to 14.
Suicide is the third leading cause of death for 15- to 24-year-olds, according to the CDC, and for every suicide in the United States, there are about 25 more attempts.
But in Loudoun County, suicide rates are fairly low at one or two a year for the last 10 years -- 14 since 1998, said Tom Maynard, director of the county's Department of Mental Health.
“That rate is less than the average for the state and the nation,” he said. “The suicide rate among teens is typically highest among whites, and Loudoun has a high percentage of whites. There's no specific reason why it would be low.”
Loudoun County has lost a few teenagers to suicide in recent years, including a 16-year old boy from Broad Run High School, Tania's school, who committed suicide in September 2006, after a crash injured a passenger in his car.
Two girls from Montgomery County, Rachel Samantha Smith, 16, of Potomac, Md., and Rachel Lacy Crites, 18, of Gaithersburg, Md., drove off the road in western Loudoun in February 2007, and poisoned themselves to death by inhaling carbon monoxide.
John Walker, director of Loudoun Family Connections, a program that works with troubled teens, said even though the suicide rate in Loudoun may be low, suicide is about more than numbers.
It is about the profound effect the loss of a teen can have on everyone – even those who never met him or her, he said.
To those who knew Tania, her death came as a complete shock.
“It was just so bad I couldn't breathe,” said Tania's best friend, Broad Run senior Jessica Ross. “It was the end of the world to me. [She is] the one that I'm supposed to spend beach week and prom with. ... I lost my Tania.”
Tania moved with her family to Ashburn about two and a half years ago, and she was looking forward to her senior year, her mom said.
Things didn't go exactly as planned, though, when she tried to help a drunk friend one night last summer by giving him a ride home from a party. She ended up getting pulled over for speeding and an open alcohol container was found in the car.
Tania lost her driver's license and was put on probation for six months.
“It was a terrible blow to her,” Sinikka said. “But she was not a depressed child. That was just one bad choice and she got caught.”
A few months later, on Oct. 23, Tania borrowed her boyfriend's car to drive home from school – while her license was still suspended -- and was seen by the school probation officer. Tania did not stop to talk to the officer.
Instead of facing the possible consequences of her decision to drive, she came home that night and locked herself inside her room.
Her parents were downstairs watching TV, but soon Sinikka noticed Tania's door was locked.
“We never lock doors in this house,” she said. “I called her name three or four times and she didn't answer. I knew something was wrong.”
Tania's father, Jeff, broke down her bedroom door and discovered she had hanged herself inside her room.
The events that followed were a blur to Jeff, but Sinikka said she remembers everything. She was the one who told Tania's boyfriend and friends waiting at the hospital that night that their “Sunshine” was gone.
“I don't know where I got the strength,” Sinikka said. “I didn't know how to breathe that first breath.”
The six months since Tania's death have been a roller coaster for her family and friends, but they have been trying to keep busy and move on.
Loudoun County Public Schools deployed a crisis intervention team to talk with students at Broad Run as it does for any kind of tragedy in the schools, said Amy Schutz, a social worker for schools.
“Seven or eight counseling professionals provide grief therapy,” she said. “It's based on the need, but we do also make referrals to outside agencies if needed.”
Tania's sister, Karina, 20, has found help in the form of a support group at her college, the University of Virginia.
“It's good to talk and get it out,” she said. “I get feedback on how to manage.”
Since losing Tania, Sinikka has met other families who have been through a suicide.
She also has been speaking publicly about what happened, and she participated in an assembly in March at Broad Run High School in Ashburn.
“We talked about bumps in life,” Sinikka said. “Northern Virginia is a very stressful place for teens. You have to fit in, you have to have a certain look and drive a certain car, there is stress to get into college ...
“Tania lived a comfortable life. This was her first bump, and this is how it ended.”
Walker, the director of Family Connections, also worked on the assembly with Tania's mother.
“One reason teens follow through with suicide is that impulsiveness,” he said. “They tend to see things in black and white, and they only see one way out.”
In fact, the part of the brain that controls judgment and problem solving and guards against impulsive behavior, the prefrontal cortex, is not fully developed until about age 24, he said.
Especially living in Loudoun County, which is thought of as a “perfect place,"” Walker said, teens can feel a lot of pressure, even though they might not talk about it.
Walker's advice is that teens have at least two friends they can talk to for 20 minutes two times a week to help unload.
Using music to help cheer you up when you may feel down -- or iPod therapy -- also should not be underestimated, he added.
“Certain songs can help you,” he said. “Fun and happy songs can get you excited.”
Walker said teens also need to "dumb it down" and watch something like a reality show or a funny movie to take the stress away.
Teens today tend to be more overwhelmed with activities and the pressures of life than they were in the past, he said.
“Life is precious and we fill it up with a lot,” he said. “Life is really difficult. It's more difficult to be a teen now than ever before. Parents think they know what it's like and they don't.”
Contact the reporter at ecoe@timespapers.com
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