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Honest Engine
What do you lie about? Your age? Your weight? Do you tell little white lies to friends or family members? Maybe some big, Technicolor whoppers to your boss or significant other?
Perhaps you don’t lie about anything, ever, to anyone. In that case, you’re probably not being honest with yourself. A study once highlighted in Psychology Today (“The Truth About Lying,” Vol. 30, Issue 3, May/June 1997) found that people tend to lie to others one to two times a day, and deceive about 30 people a week. If you could ever count the number of times you lie to yourself in a given day, the numbers would, of course, push much higher.
Another estimate says the average person is lied to 200 times a day. Surely, many of these untruths are delivered to us via the written word.
As a writer plying my trade in Loudoun County, I wanted to start the new year with a few blogs to look at some issues of importance to those interested in writing. I’ll be considering some general themes and why I think every writer needs to pay attention to them.
First up: Honesty.
If you hang around writers long enough, eventually you’ll hear someone talk about writing honestly, or trying to find the “truth” in a character or situation. What does that mean?
In my mind, what we’re really talking about is emotional honesty. Here’s where the experiences and the sensibilities of the writer really come into play. The power of a written piece can be exponentially greater for the audience if the writer will share some honest truth and emotion. It is like a big engine that can drive a piece forward, and more importantly, drive the interest of one’s readers onward, paragraph to paragraph, page after page.
I was reminded of this one morning last fall when I was watching, of all things, “The Today Show.” One of the guests for the day was Kathie Lee Gifford, who – I’m sure you know – used to be on her own morning show (“Live with Regis and Kathie Lee”). She also used to do a annual Christmas special – a gala event featuring matching Christmas sweaters, apple-cheeked children and very loud singing. Ms. Gifford is an attractive lady in her mid-50s.
Anyway, that particular morning, she was on the plaza with the crowd at 30 Rockefeller Plaza, outside the Today Show studio, along with Ann Curry and Natalie Morales, two beautiful, younger women who anchor the last hour of the morning program.
Kathie Lee was talking to folks in the crowd, just the usual pleasantries, when all of a sudden and without provocation, she offered two remarkable facts about herself.
Someone had mentioned to her that she looked good, and she waved the compliment off, saying she had gained about 10 pounds since she left her regular morning gig. What’s this? Someone in show business volunteering the fact that they had gained weight?
She didn’t have to share that. She wasn’t being grilled by an interviewer. She was wearing a coat, for Pete’s sake.
Ann and Natalie, beautiful, impossibly thin, standing in the background, moved closer together and laughed nervously. Did she just say what I think she said?
A few seconds more of conversation, and Kathie Lee added jovially that she’s had “work” done, meaning cosmetic enhancement of some unspecified sort. Ann and Natalie were practically hugging each other now, giddy with laughter. Time to go back inside now, Kathie Lee.
Now, I’ve never been any kind of a fan of Ms. Gifford’s. But in that instant, I liked her. I felt the power of her honesty, how she had gotten over herself enough to get real and connect with the crowd. And somehow, I knew I wasn’t alone in this admiration.
I know there were plenty of other woman like me, 40-ish (ok, honesty here … 45), at home, watching that morning. In truth, we are a major demographic for the show – a fact that I’m sure was not lost on the forthcoming Kathie Lee.
So it is with writing. Whether your story comes from your own experience, or from some fictional place, it has to ring with emotional truth and honesty. A memoir may or may not contain all of your deepest, darkest secrets. A fictional character may or may not be based on you or someone you know. But you, as an author, must find a way to connect with your reader. This means knowing your audience of likely readers, and finding those parts of your characters and your story that will resonate with them.
Beginning writers are always advised to “write what you know.” That’s good as a starting point, but you can always research new subjects, and write about unfamiliar places and times. Chances are, you will at some point. But you will always draw on your own experience when you write.
If you are writing non-fiction – an article, an essay, a memoir – find the elements of the story to which you feel the audience can relate. Find the messy, embarrassing, funny, uncertain, touching (i.e. human) moments and put those on the page.
If you are writing fiction, build characters and situations that reflect human life. Even if your character is an alien, or lives long in the past or far into the future, find the part that speaks to honest human emotion. Use your own experiences and feelings to begin, and work from there. Of course, you don’t want every character to be just like you, but there may be some of you in every character.
If you can do that, you’ll strike a chord with readers and be well on your way to a memorable piece. Honestly.
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